Volume 1, Track 11
This next is a serious story concerning two deeply religious people, and I hope it does not offend anybody. Remember, Zen counsels us not to be attached to anybody or anything. Attachment brings with it suffering. The aim is to be free of conditions, not to be bound by them.
Ruth Fuller Sasaki was an extraordinary woman. She was also the first mother-in-law of writer Alan Watts. As Ruth Fuller an American woman, she had met and then married the Japanese Zen Master Roshi Sasaki. Deep in Zen study and practice herself, she did not marry him for the usual reasons.
Roshi was old and not in good health. It was decided that when he was gone, she would set up a halfway house for foreign students coming to Kyoto, a place where they could be prepared for serious Zen practice. After a preparation period, which included some language study, they would be turned over to a Zen Master, and a few might even become monks.
As a foreigner and a woman, she would have no standing at all in Japan. But as the wife of a Zen Master who came out of a distinguished samurai family, she would be shown great respect. When the Roshi passed away, Mrs. Sasaki set up the proposed halfway house in a sub temple on the grounds of Daitoku-ji, one of the so-called “Big Five” of Zen temples in Kyoto. [Editor’s Note: Daitoku-ji is generally not considered one of the Big Five, as it was historically excluded from the Gozan or temple system.]
It was there that I met her, and where she eventually told me this story.
A young American priest came to Kyoto and asked for an appointment with Mrs. Sasaki. When she saw him, it was obvious he was distraught. He said that he was haunted by the question of birth and death, and also lived in fear of hell, wondering if there was a heaven or hell. Finally, he had come to Japan to see if practicing Zen could give him some answers. Mrs. Sasaki shook her head. She told the young priest he should return home and follow his calling by being a good priest.
“You don’t understand,” he pleaded, “I must find peace, please help me.” Once again, Mrs. Sasaki declined and suggested he resume his priesthood. “I’m desperate,” said the young priest, “and I’ll do anything you say. Only please help me. I’ll do anything.”
Mrs. Sasaki thought for a moment. “Finally,” she asked, “Supposing I do help you and prepare you for study and practice with a Master. He might start you off with a koan ‘Meeting Jesus on the street, knock Jesus down. What then?’” The young priest turned white, gasped, got up, and fled through the door. She never saw him again.
It’s not easy to give up our attachments. Is Zen not concerned with the existence of God or religion? If we believe Paul Tillich’s definition of religion as concerned with Ultimates, then it might be the truest religion. When one is asked to believe a doctrine simply because he is told to believe it, without thinking and without discrimination, and to follow a particular way without experiencing anything, despite the admonition that the kingdom of heaven is within, he is coming dangerously close to superstition.
Zen would say that if listening to sermons and reading words was all that was needed, those who went to church on Sunday would be angels the following week. Is this the way it actually works? Buddhism (and Zen is part of Buddhism) says we must start with morality but then go on to self-examination in the form of meditation and finally reach deep insight — and that insight is in the form of intuitive natural wisdom. In other words, we must experience for ourselves. And as my teacher often said, “Why should you doubt your own experience?”
The Zen Master Dogen, one of the deepest thinkers Japan has known, said, “Autumn clings to Summer, Spring clings to Winter, clouds cling to mountains.” And he added, “Mountains walk upon the water.” These enigmatic statements must be experienced. They cannot be understood intellectually.
To listen to Justin reading Spiritual Stories of the East, click here.